Yes, And: Life's Biggest Improvisation is Life Itself

I've been doing lots of thinking lately - shocker. It feels like my brain never takes a moment to breathe and say, "Hey, dude! Chill for a minute. You're good."

So here I am, trying to take a minute's chill and put my jumbled thoughts down on paper, or you know, onto a computer screen.

As per usual, I overcomplicate most things in my mind, and in doing so, my brain will try to un-complicate the tangle of thoughts and find the logic; find the reason. That's my go-to: how can I intellectualize this? How can I make this make sense?

Someone once told me that trying to make sense of "it all" is kind of useless. Like essentially, there is no making sense of it. Which is an awful thing for me to try to make sense of! You see where the problem exists for me?

Looking for an explanation or a reason when there isn't one can feel overwhelming, frustrating, and disheartening. So instead of fighting back and shouting from the rooftops, "Where is my answer?!" I have a slightly more helpful approach.

Yes, and.

If you've ever taken an Improv 101 class, you probably learned that "Yes, and" is the golden rule in improvisation. I remember first hearing about it during drama camp (yep, I sure was a theater kid) in middle school.

The idea is simple, but also pretty revolutionary for a brain like mine. For context - say you're in an improv scene/exercise, and someone asks, "Do you want to go to the grocery store with me?" The idea is that you never say no. You respond with, "Yes, and let's be sure to get some mint chocolate chip ice cream while we're there."

Saying "no" in that instance then leaves your scene partner hanging out to dry. What are they supposed to say then? Saying "no" shuts down the scene and encourages the end of a conversation. Saying "no" is going against the tide.

So yes, the improv golden rule is important during an exercise in class, but I also think it is the key (for me, at least) to make the tiniest bit of sense out of the nonsensical. If and when a barrier or obstacle comes into our path - which can be often, it is life after all - saying "no" stops progress. Saying "no" creates stagnation and atrophy; it is our attempt at countering the obstacle.

But so often, there is no countering. There is no removing the obstacle or shrinking it to a more digestible size. There is only learning to find another path. Yes, and. Yes, and also, this too.

Yes, this is challenging, AND I can continue in light of the challenge. I choose to accept the challenge as a presence in my life, but I am not fighting it - I am learning to grow alongside it.

Perhaps this makes very little sense. That's fair. But what makes sense, anyway? I guess my point is that life in itself is an improvisational exercise. There's no script, no dress rehearsal, no opening night. It just kind of is and does. Our two options are yes and no.

Today, I choose yes. And... who knows what comes next?

P.S. - this photo is an early representation of me "Yes, and-ing" c. 1997?